Friday, September 27, 2013

The Lunar Base Ark is hit by a meteor shower and has severe damage. Colonel Gerard Brauchman sends Ava Cameron to repair a wing that is full of carbon monoxide. Dr. Lance Krauss warns that the gas may cause paranoia and hallucinations. Ava brings a sample of the meteor for analysis and Dr. Krauss finds that there are spores attached to the meteor. Ava accidentally cuts her finger in a sample but she hides the cut from the doctor. Soon Ava gets pregnant and delivers an alien offspring. Brauchman and Kraus believe that Ava is delusional. The offspring bites the crewman Bruce Johns and produces a clone of him.

Review

Instead of telling you about the story which you by now already have a grasp of I will instead focus on how unceremoniously bad this movie is.

1) Being a scifi you expect either a cool story or some nice visuals. This has got neither. It keeps telling us it's made on a shoestring budget and I'll admit that some parts were actually nice looking but all the good parts are ruined by blatantly stupid props and(see 2)

2)Contrived plot twists. OMFG. I was sitting there watching with my mind's mouth open not sure that the movie unfolding in front of me was for real. It is like watching a train wreck albeit less mass deathy. It will only give you eye cancer and brain rot. I could not turn away though because this movie is played straight it takes itself DEAD serious no humour. I SAID NO!

3) The characters in the movie are supremely stupid and that just blows away all suspension of disbelief because face it there is no chance in Hell that those people would be astronauts technicians and doctors. No one would employ them and give them the responsibilities they have much less send them to space and pay them. No really it's just sad.

4) Actually I just have to reiterate nr 3). THE CHARACTERS are so stupid it's insulting to my feces' ability to render art before it's flushed.

I could do a deeper analysis but I doubt there is any need.

When all is said and done I was entertained in a very weird way. This is in the same category of bad as "Suing the Devil" but not as enjoyably amusing.

basement dweller